You Are Cordially Invited
by SatoshiSakurazukamori
Summary: ...to Seishiro's "surprise" birthday party. Please be sure to arrive on time, and refrain from touching Subaru. AU SeiSub/SubKam/KuroFai


"I don't see why you can't go by yourself." Kurogane grumbles, "Why do I have to get dragged into this too?"

Fai sighs, exasperation evident in his voice, "With the way you're acting someone might think I'm taking you to amputate your arm or something."

"I'll take losing an arm over this any day." Kurogane mutters under his breath.

"Your masochism aside, you need to lighten up Kuro-sama. We're going to a surprise party - "

"And that!" Kurogane interrupts, "Who the hell plans a damn surprise party for _himself_?"

"That's Seishiro-san for you. You can ask him yourself later, you two were such good childhood friends after all! ~" Fai laughs as he ducks and avoids Kurogane's fist.

It's not as if Kurogane had a problem with Seishiro himself, well, much of a problem. They were friends, by the loosest definition, but friends they were, and still somewhat are. It's just that Kurogane really doesn't enjoy parties. Too many people, too much noise, too much everything for him. And Fai knows this, yet insists on dragging him along anyway, despite the murderous intent Kurogane had been radiating for a better part of the day.

Completely oblivious to his companion's foul mood, Fai continues his brisk walk towards Seishiro's home, Kurogane and gift in tow. Speaking of which…crap…he didn't get a gift…Fai better have put his name on that card too.

"Hey, what did you get him anyway?" he nods towards the brightly, but beautifully, wrapped box in Fai's arms. It isn't particularly big and doesn't appear very heavy, leaving Kurogane guessing as to what it might be.

"Something Seishiro-san's been wanting for a veeeery long time," Fai replies, deliberately vague, "And before you ask, no, I didn't include your name on the card. Maybe next time you'll learn to be better prepared, huh, Kuro-sama?"

Kurogane glares, a fierce glare that would have others running in the opposite direction, but Fai pays him no attention, rounding the corner towards their destination then stops.

"Hmm…correct me if I'm mistaken, but is that Subaru-kun up ahead?" Fai asks, a puzzled expression on his face. "I didn't think he would come again this year given what happened last year...Oh look, he's brought Kamui-kun along...that must be why."

Kurogane raises an eyebrow, "What happened exactly?" he asks almost warily, knowing from experience that when Seishiro is involved anything is possible.

Fai waves his question off as he starts towards the pair, "It was nothing to worry about…unless you're Subaru-kun of course, but he's probably over it by now."

Kurogane sighs as Fai reaches the pair, turns and gestures at him to hurry up. "It's going to be a long day."

"This," says Kamui darkly, "Is a terrible idea."

Subaru nods in agreement, "We won't stay long," he promises as they wait to cross the street, "Just enough to appease Seishiro-san." He pauses and smiles, "Thank you for coming with me,. I'd rather not go alone after the…incident…last year."

Kamui blushes and mumbles, "No problem." It's not as if it had taken much persuasion on Subaru's part to convince Kamui, despite his deep dislike of Seishiro.

They cross the street and head towards Seishiro's home, at the sound of approaching footsteps Kamui glances up and sees Fai-sensei hurrying towards them.

"Hello Subaru-kun, Kamui-kun," he says, nodding to each in turn, "I wasn't expecting to see you here." He turns and waves someone over, giving Kamui a chance to peek around him to see Kurogane-sensei dragging his feet, looking like he would very much rather be anywhere else, Kamui sympathizes with him.

Subaru shrugs, "I had no intention of coming."

Fai waits for him to elaborate, but he doesn't appear inclined to do so. "Well," he begins, "Now that Kuro-sama has finally decided to grace us with his presence, let's head inside."

"Fine," Kurogane says, already feeling the inevitable migraine, "The sooner we go in the sooner we can leave." He marches ahead of them and rings Seishiro's doorbell with a bit more force than is strictly necessary.

The door swings open almost immediately, revealing Seishiro in the doorway…wearing a party hat…with a bright pink suit and Gangnam Style blasting in the background.

"Welcome!" He says brightly, "I'm so glad you could make it." A quick look behind him shows a crowded room adorned with colorful balloons. confetti, and streamers hanging from the ceiling and walls, effectively draping the room. He ushers them in, ever polite, with a smile, "After you Fai-san. So good to see you this time, Kurogane. Well, if it isn't Subaru-kun. I was afraid you wouldn't come." His hand moves to caress Subaru's face…only to be interrupted by the sound of Kamui clearing his throat.

"Ah, and you brought Kamui-kun along as well."

"You look like a pimp." Kamui replies sullenly. "And why do you have to be so creepy?"

"'Creepy?'" he repeats, not even having the decency to look surprised. He turns and seemingly pulls Syaoran out of thin air, wrapping an arm around him. "Syaoran-kun," the man practically purrs, "Do you find me creepy?"

Syaoran, for his part, has absolutely no idea what he could have done to deserve this. His eyes dart from Kamui's to Subaru's, silently pleading 'Help me…please…'

"Umm…I…Uh…" he finally manages to stutter out.

Taking pity on him, Subaru releases him from Seishiro's hold, "Will you please stop harassing everyone, Seishiro-san?" Syaoran shoots him a grateful look and hurries away, seeking refuge behind Sakura.

Seishiro gives a dramatic sigh, "Rejected again. I suppose an old man like me doesn't stand a chance. No matter, there's always next time. Anyway, please come in," he pauses, "Kamui-kun, are you alright?"

Subaru glances at him and finds a look of shock plastered on his face. He follows Kamui's gaze and surveys the crowd. All the guests appear to be either Seishiro's colleagues from school or his students...nothing appears out of the ordinary...

Oh.

_Oh._

"Seishiro-san," begins Subaru, voice impressively calm, "Why are Watanuki-san and Kudo-san in maid outfits?"

The boys in question are dressed in identical short black maid dresses, complete with a small, white, frilly apron, hat, white stockings, and twin expressions of embarrassment, clearly self-conscious about their current situation.

"Is that what all the fuss is about?" laughs Seishiro, "I needed a little help today, and their employers were on the losing end of a bet, that's all," then adds innocently, "They look rather cute, not as cute as you of course, Subaru-kun, but much cuter than Kamui-kun here. Now if you'll excuse me, I have other guests to attend to." And with that he disappears, leaving the two to fend for themselves.

They make their way through the crowd, finally finding empty seats near the drinks, where Kurogane appears to have commandeered the alcohol. He offers them a glass, Subaru declines, while Kamui hesitates then reaches for one before catching his older companion's disapproving eye. Sheepishly, he declines the offer as well. Kurogane shrugs and downs the contents in one swallow.

Meanwhile, everyone gathers around Seishiro, supervising Watanuki as he hangs a hawk-shaped piñata ("I think I'll name him Nandarou" he announces brightly.) from the ceiling while Kazahaya passes out sticks and blindfolds to those participating.

Fai appears out of nowhere and latches himself to Kurogane's arm,"Kuro-samaaaaa~, you should go have a whack at the piñata. A big, tough guy like you could break it in one swing." He peers into Kurogane's glass, "Whatcha drinking?"

Kurogane snorts, moving the cup out of reach, "Are you crazy? Knowing that guy it's probably filled with spiders or some weird shit. And no alcohol for you, if you want a drink there's apple juice over there."

"You're so mean," Fai whines, but takes a cup of juice and disappears, though not before, Subaru notices, he discreetly adds some liquor to it.

As it turns out, Kurogane was half right about the piñata. Much to their relief, it wasn't spiders that rained down once Ryu-o had successfully broken it, but rather eyeballs. Candy eyeballs. Candy eyeballs in a horribly familiar shade of green. Subaru tries to repress a shudder as Seishiro picks one up, looks directly at him, and very deliberately bites into it.

Three hours into the party and nothing more eventful occurs than Kurogane's accusations of Fai cheating during Spin the Bottle to always land on him.

"What," Fasi asks, a sly grin spreading over his face, "Is there someone else you'd rather kiss? You didn't seem to mind so much last night when we -" The rest is unheard over Kurogane's roar of "I'll kill you, you bastard!"

One attempted murder later, and the time for cake arrives. Ueda and Yumi carefully carry it in, setting it down on the middle of the table for everyone to admire. It's been artistically sculpted to resemble a sakura tree in full bloom., each detail captured perfectly, from the roughness of the bark to the many shades of pink in the icing. Tomoyo and Kohaku lead off the singing as the candles are lit and lights go out. Seishiro blows out the candles to applause while Watanuki goes about cutting the cake with practiced efficiency, with Kazahaya serving.

"So what did you wish for nii-san?" Fuuma asks as the cake makes its way around, a knowing glint twinkling in his eyes.

"Now Fuuma, you know what they say, if I tell you, it won't come true." laughs Seishiro, eyes landing on Subaru. Still, his refusal to share his wish does nothing to stop the others from guessing.

"Maybe he wished for a girlfriend."

"Or a new car!"

"Or smaller shoulders!"

As the speculations continue, each guess more wild than the one before, Kazhaya approaches them with a tray, "Would you like some cake sensei? Kamui?", he inquires, holding out plates to each one in turn. Subaru politely refuses, he isn't much for sweets. Kamui accepts the plate with a "thanks" and pokes the sweet suspiciously. It passes inspection and he takes a bite.

"This is pretty good," he says between mouthfuls, "You sure you don't want any? It's not that sweet."

Subaru considers the offer for a moment before reaching for Kamui's fork and taking a bite. The cake alternates between layers of mildly bitter dark chocolate sponge and rich chocolate frosting.

He notices the small blush quickly rising on Kamui's face, deciding that Seishiro was wrong in saying Kamui isn't cute, "You're right."

Seeing everyone's distraction with the cake, Subaru decides now is the time to make an escape. He motions to Kamui, who stuffs the rest of his piece in his mouth before getting up, and they quickly make their way towards the door, hoping to remain unseen...

"Leaving so soon Subaru-kun?" Seishiro's voice drifts over, quickly followed by the man himself.

"We still have so much more in store, many more games to play."

"What sort of games?" Subaru asks with some apprehension.

"Why a nice wholesome game of strip poker of course."

"You can't do that," Subaru says, once he manages to find his voice, horror written across his face, "There are children here."

"They can play too."

"I can't even begin to tell you how illegal that probably is."

"It's only illegal if you get caught." Seishiro replies matter-of-factly, as if he's had personal experience on that matter, which Subaru does not doubt.

"…It's not even a party game."

"Tell that to them," he points to the group sitting around the table. Subaru and Kamui look up, curious despite themselves as to who would actually be willing to go along with Seishiro's ridiculous game, to find Kakei, Ichiro, Sasuke, and Yuuko, who wave cheerily in their direction.

"I_ really_ think it's time for us to get going," Subaru says firmly, pushing Kamui towards the door, "Have a nice birthday Seishiro-san."

"If you insist," He leans forward and grabs Subaru's arm, "I look forward to opening your gift."

Kamui shoots him a glare over his shoulder, "It's from both of us."

"Oh?" he raises an eyebrow, "And how exactly did you contribute to it?"

"If you didn't notice, I'm not telling you," Kamui replies with a smirk, "Though it does say a lot about your skills, _sensei_."

Seishiro frowns and Subaru tries and fails to hide an amused grin as they head out the door.

Once the final guest leaves its well-past midnight. Seishiro surveys the mess in the room, decides it can wait until morning, and turns his attention to more pressing matters. Namely the large stack of presents awaiting him on the table. He resist the urge to open Subaru's (and Kamui's he concedes, albeit begrudgingly.) gift first. Instead he lets Fate decide which to begin with; making things a game is much more amusing after all. Fate chooses a medium-sized, clumsily wrapped, pink box. He reads the attached card,

_I hope you have a wonderful birthday Sakurazuka-sensei!_

_-Hanato Kobato & Ioryogi-san_

The wrapping job alone had been a giveaway; the girl is a bit of an airhead. With a shake of his head, Seishiro opens the box to find a woolen hat. At least…he thinks it's a hat…by the looks of it Kobato had knit it herself. He tries it on, finds that it fits surprisingly well, and, seeing that it is rather warm and comfortable, keeps it.

The next box he reaches for is carefully and neatly wrapped in green. He shakes the box experimentally and hears things sliding around in it. He glances at the card,

_Happy Birthday Sensei! I wasn't sure what to get you, I hope you like this._

_-Syaoran_

Seishiro tears off the paper to find a box with_ Build Your Own Model Bridge *BONUS* Rainbow Paint Included!_ How…thoughtful.

He quickly goes through the rest of the gifts. A cookbook from Sorata and Arashi. _("Please, as if _I_ need cooking lessons."_)_ An Illustrated Guide to the Art of Kinbaku_ from Fuuma. (He quickly skims through it and decides on a more in-depth reading later.) A complete autographed set of his books from Tomoaki. _("I can probably sell these for a good price."_)

A beautifully wrapped box catches his attention next. He takes a moment to admire it, the wrapping, the bow, the ribbons, everything is so tastefully done that it's almost a shame to open it, before tearing into it. Underneath the wrapping he finds a photo album from Fai. (And not Kurogane, as the card stresses.) He opens it to find pictures of Subaru. Subaru at home. Subaru student-teaching a magic class. Subaru tutoring Kamui in the park. Subaru…in a wedding dress…? Wait, what? Oh right, Hokuto was using him as a model. Carefully flipping through each page Seishiro decides it's his favorite gift. Though it raises a few questions…questions that the person most interested in them probably would not like the answers to.

After sorting through the rest of the pile, he finally finally gets to Subaru's gift. He frowns as he reaches for it, something feels...off about it. Taking note of how light and flat it is, he turns his attention to the card.

_Happy Birthday._

_Can you please stop following and taking pictures of me?_

_And leaving creepy messages?_

_It's getting disturbing._

_-Subar_u

The other side reads

_Go fuck yourself and die, creep._

_Never mind, Subaru said that wasn't polite._

_Happy Birthday._

_-Kamui_

Well…that wasn't nice. Seishiro is offended that Subaru would accuse him of such things. He had long since discovered that magical methods of observation are far superior to following someone…without their knowledge or consent. (Seishiro refuses to of it as stalking; it's such an ugly word.) Though it does explain how Fai had gotten his hands on those pictures. The only accusation Seishiro can claim credit to is the messages. Besides, they weren't that creepy.

He pulls himself from his thoughts and opens the box to find a piece of paper. Curious, he reads it and finds himself surprised, a feeling he isn't used to._ "Well played Subaru-kun."_ Subaru had given him a restraining order, of all things. Starting from midnight Seishiro is prohibited from following, intimidating, harassing, threatening, loitering or generally being a creep to Subaru until… no expiration date is given. Seishiro rolls his eyes as he rips the order in half then frowns. It's still whole. He tries again, harder, only to receive the same result. Strange. He's still getting the off feeling from it too. Kamui's words come floating back to him,_ "If you didn't notice, I'm not telling you, though it does say a lot about your skills, sensei."_

He takes a closer look at the order and groans as he realizes his mistake. It seems Kamui's contribution to the gift was a protective charm to prevent him from destroying it. A charm that has Subaru's style of magic written all over it, leaving Seishiro in no doubt where he learned it.

He leans back and pulls out a cigarette, excited at the prospect of a new challenge, _"A new player makes the game much more exciting after all."_

**A/N: The majority of this is inside jokes, from the SeiSyao to the gifts to Gangnam Style.**

**Happy Birthday Em!**


End file.
